


Waiting

by PhasicDreamer



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Mentions of Jade Harely, Mentions of Rose Lalonde - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6214336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhasicDreamer/pseuds/PhasicDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't know why he left, but you'll wait for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting

To this day you still don't know why he did it.

Six months later and you still don't know why.

From your perspective, he had no reason to. You both had stable jobs, a quaint little apartment you both adored, fantastic friends, and the love of your life by your side.

You had everything you could have possible wanted and life was perfect.

So why?

Why pack up and leave in the middle of the night,no word, no note, no anything? Just up and disappear without a trace?

To you, it made no sense.

Was he having trouble at work? 

Was the apartment getting too small for him? 

Was he not getting along with your friends?

Was your love not enough for him?

You sigh, your hot breath fogging up the frosted window as you stare blankly at the colorless world beyond it.

Snow drifts silently from the clouded sky, coating the earth below in a thick blanket of white, drawing the world into an empty void of nothing.

No children playing gleefully in the snow, no sounds of merry Christmas carolers, no festive lights or mistletoe.

Nothing.

Your apartment, once so warm and lively, now feels cold and empty. Most of your valuables lay packed away in boxes, the majority of your furniture already in storage, save for the single wooden chair you've placed next to the living room window that you find yourself occupying most days. Anything that once belonged to him rests at the bottom of your trash can.

Well, all expect the sweater wrapped snugly around your frame.

Pulling the collar of the sweater up to your nose you inhale deeply, catching only the faintest hints of his cologne and apples. You sigh blissfully. 

Oh, how you missed that smell.

Platinum blonde hair, burning crimson eyes, and tan freckled skin flashes before your eyes, drawing a strangled sob from the back of your throat. You double over, the air being punched from your lungs as you cry into your hands.

You know you only have yourself to blame. You knew this would happen, you knew it the moment you decided to keep the damned sweater. And yet you still fucking did it.

But you just can't help it.

You miss him so fucking much.

Because no matter how much you hate him.

You can't help but love him more.

You don't know how long you sat there, the minutes blurring into hours, but the sun has started to set and you've run out of tears to cry. Eventually, you work up the strength to lift your face from your hands, your cheeks and palms sticky with dried tears, your eyes bloodshot and swollen.

The ringing of your phone catches your attention and you contemplate letting it go to voice mail, but decide against it. You simply don't have the heart to hear his voice on your answering machine.

You struggle to your feet from your slumped position next to the window, your mind and body numb as you shuffle slowly to the phone, catching it on the last ring.

Hesitantly, you raise the phone to your ear, clearing your throat in hopes of masking the fact that you just spent the last few hours crying your eyes out.

“H-hello?”

Your voice still sounds broken and horse despite your best efforts and you pray the person on the other line hadn't noticed.

“[Name]? Holy shit, I didn't think you were going to pick up!”

You immediately recognize the voice of your favorite buck toothed companion. Your lips tug into a small smile, having not talked to this specific friend in what felt like forever.

“Of course I would pick up, wouldn't be my phone if I didn't.”

You can hear John laugh from the other line, the sound so foreign to your ears. When was the last time you laughed?

“Wow, great to hear from you too, still as funny as ever I see. Anyway, how have you been? None one's been able to get a hold of you for weeks.”

Your face drops, the past few weeks of isolation finally catching up on you. Your voice echoes through your so called home, the sound broken and lost.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I've been... busy.”

John pauses, unsure if he should continue, afraid he might run you off and lose contact with you for another few weeks.

“Well, the gang's going out tonight. Maybe if you're not doing anything later you can-”

“Sorry, I'm busy tonight. Maybe next time.”

John sighs, being far too used to that monotone response.

“You say that every time [Name].”

You shrug, your back leaning against the barren counter as you stare out into your dark apartment.

“It's true every time.”

John's sigh is louder this time, voice a mix between frustrated and concerned.

“You can't keep fucking doing this to yourself [Name]!”

You don't flinch away from the phone like you used to, this had become routine. Every time someone got the courage to call, be it family or friend, the conversation would always be the same.

First they would ask you how you were, what you'd been up to. Then they'd offer you a reason to get out of the house, which you would always decline.

Next would come the reasoning, then frustration, then anger before either they hung up or you do.

Then comes the weeks of silence before the next phone call.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

Your passive response only serves to rile him up more.

“You know exactly what I fucking talking about! You can't just lock yourself in your apartment and then disappear for weeks! It's not healthy [Name]! Not to mention everyone is worried about you, when was the last time you actually talked to Rose or Jade? For fuck's sake [Name], Jade even says she's starting to forget what you sound like!”

You groan, pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers. You were starting to get a headache.

“I told you, I've just been busy.”

First reasoning, then frustration, now anger.

“Too busy to even call up your best friend so she can remember your voice?!”

Your heart aches with guilt, you and Jade had always been the closest out of your group of friends and you loved her like a sister.

But you simply don't have it in you to talk to her.

It's a long time before John finally gathers the courage to continue, his words gentle and solemn.

“It's been months now [Name], you can't keep doing this.”

Looks like you would be the one hanging up this time.

“Look John, I really have to go. I'll talk to you late-”

“Dave's not coming back, [Name].”

The silence that follows is heavy, your body tense. No one dares speak, let alone breath. Your knuckles have turned white from clutching the phone too tight and you can feel it bending under your iron like grip.

After all this time, all this grieving and crying, you still couldn't say his name let alone hear it.

You let out a shaky breath.

And then hang up.

There's only one thing you can describe yourself feeling in that moment.

Numb.

No heart wrenching sobs, no broken cries, no mindless anger or shouting. 

Nothing.

You stand motionless, the sunlight streaming through your window fading until you were cast in nothing but darkness.

It was nearly midnight when you finally stumble your way back to your chair, your mind blank and eyes unfocused. You don't even notice the endless stream of tears trailing down your cheeks.

Slumping back down you draw your knees close to your chest, your unseeing eyes staring blankly out into the cold winter night, images of a certain shade wearing blonde filling your head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

To this day you still don't know why he did it.

Be it work problems, not enough space at home, issues with friends, or he had simply fallen out of love.

But until you get an answer, you don't mind waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my Deviantart: PhasicDreamer, I posted this on there a while ago.


End file.
